I'M BACK - Day 4

Here I am.

Owning up to depression after the fall out of our shop.

106 KILOS.

*CRY*

I have ALWAYS promised myself I would never let myself get more than 100kgs.

*FAIL*

I'm still in denial about doing the TAX forms which thankfully my ex employees haven't chased me down for yet and will probably be fined for not doing on time. And I haven't done the last quarters MYOB and bank reconcilliation. Which is haunting me and I think a HUGE part of why I'm so depressed.

We are moving back to Vic in 2 weeks. For a lot of reasons. We are happy with the decision. I'm going to leave the reconciliations here in TAS until we can get another car here to pick up the rest of our stuff as we can't fit it all in our one car as Shaun's car broke down :(
But I will take/do the tax stuff. Then hopefully I will feel a bit better about myself.

Also our baby making isn't working. That is REALLY bringing me down. I had all these high hopes of conceiving and giving birth in TAS. Boo Hoo. I think it has lots to do with me being so overweight.

So I'm finally doing something about it.

I bought a starter pack of Biggest Loser shakes and it has helped to keep me on track. If I fear I cannot have a small portion of dinner, then I have to have veggies and a shake. So far I have only had one shake. Our scales are not digital and I didn't weigh myself the first 2 days as I was in denial so I don't know if I have droppd any weight yet but I'm feeling better about myself for succeeding so far.

I'm keeping in mind:

RUN
BABY
RUN

My theory is:

I'll continue TTC while trying to losing weight. I'll train for a 10km run, cause I have done 2 x 5 km runs before and it's time to up the stakes. IF I become pregnant before I do the 10km run, i'll keep up the healthy eating and exercise so I can have a great preganacy and my baby will be healthy and then I can get back into it when baby is born.

This is my plan.